CCTV’s Pollution Survival Guide: Smile and Be Positive

Desperately seeking blue skies? Depressed by the gloomy smog? Worried about the health risks of spending a series of days and nights being enveloped by toxic air? Well, snap out of it, you sissy!

That’s right! According to China Central Television (CCTV), its high-time to recheck that attitude!

“Smile and try to be positive (hopefully there will be less smog tomorrow,)” declared CCTVNews  on December 8th – the very day of Beijing issued its historic first ever red alert in reaction to the city’s dire air pollution. The alert lasted three days; from 7am on Tuesday the 8th of December  til noon on Thursday the 10th of December when the haze cleared. Factories, constructions sites and schools were closed, and millions of cars were also ordered not to drive in a bid to improve the air quality.

Indeed, CCTV’s word’s almost echo those sung by Annie, the famous musical orphan : “The sun will come out tomorrow/Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow/ There’ll be sun.” Nothing quite like some Broadway panache, to liven up the mood, eh？

Not only was the guidance helpful (and all that jazz), but it was also accompanied with an equally tasteful illustration of five beaming jellybean-like creatures wriggling around in delight. Perhaps these merry little characters were indulging in a cheeky, little pollution party – which come to think of it – is not a bad idea at all, given that now there’s no need to shell out on a smoke machine ( well, hello, silver lining of the smog cloud!)

Furthermore, the same CCTV article bestowed readers with other important pearls of advice to deal with the worrisome air quality. The most pertinent tip is “drink more hot water and tea […] – even when it’s not smoggy.” For any newbies to the Middle Kingdom, this is rule 101 of China’s guide to a healthy lifestyle.

The issue of air pollution is nothing new to Beijing, therefore, some may be puzzled why only now a red alert warning has been declared. Could it be down to the  awkward timing that just when China’s capital city is engulfed in haze, the most significant environmental conference of 2015 – UN Climate Change Summit – is also unfolding in Paris? Or is due to the mass discussion by Netizens ( China’s social media community) over the recent air quality?

However, perhaps we should focus on another question: why is CCTV’s reaction so long overdue? Whatever the answer may be, this voice of reason did finally speak! And what a relief, I mean, for how much longer could we just passively sit back and listen to same old boring complaints? “Waah, my throat hurts!” “Help me, I can’t breathe!” And, let’s not forget, of course, the old classic “Oh, it’s so smoggy I cannot see where I am going. Oops, I just bumped into the CCTV tower.”

Of course, its been widely reported that the amount of air pollution on Tuesday the 1st of December was forty times above what the World Health Organisation, also known as the WHO, recommends as being safe. But, hey, let’s not moan because  CCTV is here to tell you to turn that frown upside down!  In fact, the WHO may just as well rename themselves WHO CARES?

And, for those of you  who still feel an urge to whinge, just breathe in deeply – if you can – and keep calm. After all, there is always tomorrow！